MAXX Coverage: How (and Why) To Suck It Up And Stop Complaining
October 17, 2018
TACOMA, Wash.–Everyone is tired and busy, so suck it up and stop complaining–and Yelping.
That message was at the heart of remarks to credit unions gathered here for the Northwest Credit Union Association’s MAXX Conference. Sharing the tough love—and tips for being more positive—was author Christine Cashen, who said she has made it her life’s work to stop “global whining.”
And how will that be accomplished? By addressing a number of “peeves,” according to Cashen, and then following her “tips” for turning them into positives. Those peeves included:
The Peeve: The world exists to irritate you.
The Tip: “People aren’t out to irritate you. Most people don’t need your judgement and criticism. Now, more than ever, they need your love and support.”
Cashen said when she is irritated by someone, she makes up a story to herself for why that person acted that way. For instance, if a person didn’t use their turn signal, she will tell herself, “They must have a broken arm.”
“For the most part, we are just hot messes doing the best we can,” said Cashen. “So give people a break. Give them a little understanding. The world is dark enough right now; let’s not make it darker. We’ve become a society of Yelpers. Everyone has an opinion on something and wants everyone to hear it. Instead of being a Yelper, be a helper.”
The Peeve: People who a nice day for themselves
The Tip: “It’s nice when you have a good day, but it’s better when other people have a good day because of you,” said Cashen. “How do you treat your members? Do you want more members? Treat the member you have like gold. I saw this at a church: ‘You can be the fountain, or you can be the drain.’ Are you bringing it, or are you taking it?”
The Peeve: You’re tired.
The Tip: Go to bed, and go to sleep.
“I know what you do. You get in bed and you look at your phone. I want you to wean from the screen. Can you give up 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night?” asked Cashen. Can you go to the restroom without taking your phone? Give yourself a little bit of downtime. We don’t do that anymore.”
Cashen showed her audience the “Cellphone Sleeping Bag” in which users are supposed to place their cellphones and put them to sleep. On the outside it reads, “It’s your time. Turn off your phone and be present.”
The Peeve: Cellphone in the bedroom that also functions as an alarm.
The Tip: “Start your day better. Get your phone out of your bedroom. Buy an alarm clock.”
The Peeve: Negative Moods
The Tip: Do the two-hour good mood commitment. “You don’t have to act like you’re in a good mood. You just have to say it for the first two hours of the day. Even if exhausted, you say, ‘It’s a good thing I’m in a good mood…,’” suggested Cashen.
The Peeve: Negative feedback from yourself to yourself.
The Tip: What you say, comes your way. “I can’t lose weight. I’m terrible with technology. You think that’s not having an effect on what you’re doing? You can’t say the negative things anymore.”
The Peeve: It’s not about what happens to you
The Tip: “It’s what you do about it. You can be the thermometer or the thermostat. It’s up to you. If you don’t like what’s going on, do something about it. I think all credit union leaders should do this: when someone brings you a problem, they should also have to bring two solutions. Get people problem-solving.”
Cashen recommended everyone practice the 10 Coin Challenge.
“Put 10 coins in your pocket and then look for things going well. Appreciate it and verbalize it to people. Transfer the coin from one pocket to the other every time you do it. Instead, most of us put on our Gotcha Googles and look for who is screwing up. Instead, look for your Grateful Googles.”
Posted in NWCUA in the News.